One night not so long ago, I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of a crystal clear inner voice with a message: it was time to make some changes in my work. 

Immediately, my heart started racing - What if people are mad at me? What if I disappoint people I care about? What if it means I've failed or given up? 

I did my best to ignore the voice and get back to sleep, but the voice wasn't having it. Over the nights and weeks that followed, it oscillated between fairy-godmother-esque loving reminders to take care of my needs and far more aggressive we're-figuring-this-shit-out-now-or-you're-never-sleeping-again berating in my brain at 2am. 

It wasn't the first time I've heard this voice, but it was the loudest I've heard it. And much as I resisted it, I begrudgingly knew it was a good thing that this voice was so loud and clear.

Have you seen the movie Inside Out? In it, a little girl gets acquainted with a group of emotions who manage her behavior and reactions from a sort of flight control tower within her. They are Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger, and Disgust. It's one of those kid's movies that adults love too, partly because it's kind of like a great therapy or coaching session to explain a powerful approach to healing and understanding our emotions:

Parts Work is a loving approach to differentiating our "capital S" Self from the emotions sitting in our own control tower. A lot of coaches will refer to inner voices of anger, shame, sadness, self-doubt, criticism, and others as "gremlins," but in Parts Work, we instead consider them "protectors" with good intentions. Instead of telling them to go away, something incredible happens when we welcome them.

What happens when we welcome the inner voices? 

I had a client who felt immense stress about money and when we did this practice of hearing this stress with compassion and welcoming it in, it named itself “Money Voice” and has become a trusted friend for decision making rather than an adversary.

Have you ever watched Big Mouth? Yes, it’s a cartoon about horny tweens, but it’s also clear that Nick Kroll has done a lot of Parts Work. I’m particularly fascinated by the character “The Shame Wizard” or as one character gloriously misunderstands his name, “The Shane Lizard.” He whispers demeaning and shameful thoughts at people making them self-conscious and isolated in their feelings. But eventually, one character realizes that the Shame Wizard has no power when you share what you feel ashamed of with others.

Here's how you can try it out:

What voice is present for you today? And what happens when you get curious and compassionate about it? 

First, be sure to thank it (or all voices!) for showing up. Welcome them like dear friends and take a moment to notice which voice is most in need of speaking first - lovingly ask the others to give you a moment to get to know one part at a time, thanking them each step of the conversation. 

Here are 3 questions to ask those inner voices as a starting point, one voice and one question at a time - listening in for their answers:
1. What name do you like to be called?
2. What is the job that you do for me?
3. How long have you been doing this job?

You may find it helpful to have a journal ready for writing down and reflecting on insights that come up for you when you get curious about these voices.

And be sure to notice if at any point you feel unsafe - this introductory practice is not intended to replace doing this work with a trained professional, but instead to help you strengthen your intuitive skills and skills of inner-listening.

Back to my middle-of-the-night wake-up calls from my inner voice...

After a few nights of agonizingly resisting engaging and sacrificing my sleep as a result, I started to get curious and had a conversation with this part. Once I acknowledged her, she transformed into a loving but stern auntie who had my best interests at heart.

She knew the process of making the changes she was asking for wouldn't feel good in the short term, but she also knew my needs weren't being met. I thanked her and asked for more time and more sleep.

She agreed to my terms, knowing that she'd been heard and ultimately, I did follow through on the changes she pushed for to better align my work with my needs. In the process, we became a team and I strengthened my intuitive skills.

Parts Work is a deeply powerful tool and one that really benefits from a trained coach or therapist to guide you through it, but even this small twist of welcoming an inner voice and assuming good intention can ease hard feelings and help you navigate inner turbulence with kindness and generosity for yourself.

Reflect:

What inner voices are showing up for you lately? 

What happens when you welcome them and thank them for showing up? 

Are your inner voices begging you to leave your job or change your career?

Join me Wednesday, May 4th for a live virtual event - The Quitter's Speakeasy.

Leaving a job or changing your whole career can be a vulnerable and scary experience. You don't have to do it alone.

• Meet and grow your network of purpose-driven professionals who are in the process of changing their jobs or careers.
• Identify your barriers to making change.
• Receive support envisioning the next step in your career.

Book your spot at the Quitter's Speakeasy