It’s the start of a new year and everything in my social media feeds and filling up my email inbox is “new year, new you” content that seems to have all the answers. 

What you will rarely hear is this: you already have all the answers. 

Before you flee for the hills (or close this tab), let’s break down what that means and what it looks like in practice to quit other people’s priorities.

Let’s dig in - what do I mean by you already have all the answers? 

Sometimes clients seek out coaching for “the answers” - the right way of doing things, the clear solutions, and the defined next steps. Visualizing, meditating, and journaling can all feel like fluff when paying your next bill is top of mind. 

It can come as a surprise when I start by asking about your wildest dreams, your unmet needs, and your values - especially if you live in a culture that puts you in a constant state of urgency, perfectionism, and productivity. 

“How will visualizing some future woodland hermit version of myself help me get the right job next week?” you might ask. 

But here’s the secret: if you don’t start with inner listening and knowing, all the other stuff is actually the fluff. 

If you’re immersed in a culture of urgency, perfectionism, and productivity, it can be particularly difficult to tap into those inner answers. The folks I’ve worked with in coaching are often surprised by the seemingly counterintuitive steps required to get to the big answers. 

Or in Yoda’s words, “Already know you, that which you need. No more training do you require.” 

How to quit other people’s priorities 

Now that you know you already have the answers, how can you apply that insight to releasing (or smashing) the priorities of other people and hitting a hard reset from a place of inner knowing?

Perhaps it’s my burden as someone with a Libra sun to be overly influenced by external expectations, but I find that many of my clients (some fellow Libras, but I work with all astrological signs 😉) also struggle with this experience. 

It’s easy to follow the strong currents of other people’s expectations and priorities only to realize our own needs, dreams, and desires have been washed away with the tides. We can prevent that inclination by having our own strong mechanisms to bring us back to self-awareness and clarity. 

Here are 5 ways to quit other people’s priorities and redesign your own:

1. Write your own definitions. Just because you’ve been told leaders have to have a degree from an ivy league school, the credentials of a Forbes 30-under-30, a book deal by 40, and 20 years of management experience, doesn’t mean that’s what leadership looks like or means for you. 
2. Know your values. Many of us go about our lives and careers knowing something doesn’t quite fit but not being sure why that is. Frequently, it’s that we’re out of alignment with our values - those core inner beliefs you definitely already have but may not currently be able to articulate. You’ll know when you’re in alignment with your values because you’ll often feel elements of the “8 C’s” of “capital S” Self as we say in coaching. Those 8 c’s are: calm, clarity, compassion, curious, confident, courage, creative, and connected. 
3. Imagine a future that feels immensely fulfilling. By visualizing a future in which you are living your fulfilling life, it becomes possible to work backwards from the vision to the current moment to identify how to prioritize your time and energy - and most importantly, what to say no to - in order to get there. 

Want help clarifying the answers you already have? 

Book a 45-minute Strategy Session with me here and apply the cost forward to private coaching, The Purpose Career Lab, or future retreats.