I'm celebrating something huge. 

My business just turned 3 years old!

In addition to coaching and leading The Purpose Career Lab, I love mentoring startups and have a lot of folks reach out who are exploring becoming coaches so this week, I'm dishing my biggest, juiciest lessons (aka fails) from the first 3 years. 

My hope is that if you also run a business or side gig or you're thinking about starting one, these insights will help knock some of those hurdles out of your way AND give validation if you've already struggled through these!

That being said, these are also reminders for myself. 😉 

1. Get a therapist if you can.

I don't think I could calculate the hours I've spent in therapy talking about considering starting a business, the overwhelm of actually running it, money stress, perfectionism, having ADHD while running a business, and sooooo much more. 

Yes, you can have a business coach to help get sh*t done in a smart way, but that can't replace the mental healthcare that is tremendously helpful as an entrepreneur. 

I hate that mental healthcare isn't more accessible. For folks in the US, here are some helpful resources for finding affordable and low-cost care from National Queer & Trans Therapists of Color Network: https://nqttcn.com/en/mental-health-fund/ and more resources from The Loveland Foundation: https://thelovelandfoundation.org/therapy-fund/.

2. Comparisonitis is brutal.

 The bug gets me every few months and I wonder how everyone else "has it all figured out." Then I remember that I'm comparing my solo efforts to what 20 people I just scrolled past on Linkedin are doing...

And every conversation with another entrepreneur, I'm reminded in the best way not to judge a book by its cover. 

We all have sore spots and low days. I've realized that the more I share vulnerably about my challenges and self-doubt, the more the shame dissipates and gets replaced with loving and supportive community because we all feel like stinky hot trash sometimes!

3. Be really thoughtful about collaborations.

I've gotten far better at noticing how I feel around potential collaborators - am I safe to be fully me? Does it feel fun and playful? Or, am I masking, constricting, or contorting to meet someone's expectations? 

Another question is this: why do I want to collaborate with someone else? Am I doubting myself? Seeking reputational benefits of our association? Or are we just having more fun together?

A great example of following joyful collaboration is the emergence of Brain Tickles which I started with my dear friend Malia Wright-Merer. You can listen to recordings of our conversations here: https://hearttickles.podbean.com/

4. Celebrate your neurodivergence and uniqueness. 

I've already mentioned the ADHD diagnosis once in this post and I don't want to be yet another white woman making it like...my entire personality. AND, getting diagnosed legitimately changed how I see myself. 

From a procrastinating, awkward, outsider who is way too last minute with everything, and gets overwhelmed by emails...

To someone with a real neurological condition that makes doing things way more complicated or exhausting sometimes. I'm so much more compassionate for myself now and also able to recognize how awesomely my brain works when it comes to running a business. 

5. Money comes and goes.

Many early-stage folks you see financially "thriving" are full of crap and either started with a huge severance package, corporate savings, a big trust fund, super-rich friends, or a safety net. (Hi I started with $30k in savings from my corporate job and I've also had to ask my parents for financial help along the way!) 

I've seen months with $0 income and one super wonderful month with $14k income. 

It's also ok to take breaks from entrepreneurship - you don't lose your legitimacy as a business owner because you take on consulting work or a full-time job, you're just taking care of your very real needs.  

6. Go easy on yourself.

You're probably trying to do 5 years' worth of work this week...and then beating yourself up when you don't succeed at it. 

Slow steady, and trusting yourself is the winning path. 

If you find at the end of the day that you feel disappointed about what you've accomplished, your only failing was setting out on too many tasks. Do less and aim for 60-80% completion.

I wish I could tell me 3 years ago to slow down and take time off. Clients won't hate you for taking time off and you're allowed to switch your phone off...in fact, you'll be WAY better at what you do if you regularly take time to stop working.

7. Avoid the funnel bros!

As soon as "coach," "entrepreneur," "business owner," "founder" goes up on your Linkedin, these creatures will appear in your DMs to happily take $3-10k of your precious funds. Don't do it. You don't need 70,000 new leads each week (sh*t leads by the way).

You know what does help? Diligent, consistent, effort towards clear goals with a healthy dose of flexibility and a huge sense of love for those you want to serve.

I've also found so much support using the clarifying tools, visually clear dashboard, and working with a mentor and strategist who helped me set manageable goals I set annually with SLAP aka Silver Linings as part of the pay-what-you-can program. (not an ad)

8. Do less to prove your value. 

My first group program, The League of Impact Leaders, was a 6-month cohort course where I packed in everything from personal development to innovation to public speaking skills to prove the value. 

I made the same mistake packing in everything I could think of when hosting my first retreat this year with the feedback that *everyone* in the group wished we had more nap time. 

9. Celebrate your failures.

As Nelson Mandela said (in a FAR different context), “I never lose. I either win or learn.”

Easier said than done, right? No matter what you do, things will break. You will make mistakes. You will lose money. You will follow the wrong path and have to back track...

Give yourself space to grieve those setbacks and losses, take note of what you've learned, and then make the best choice you can from where you're at. 

10. Follow your joy.

We all face so many pressures of "shoulds" - the external expectations we place on ourselves from the outside. 

Instead, we can lean into our intuition. 

Already built an offering that no longer lights you up? You can stop offering it. 

Here's the beauty of being a business owner - the whole point is your freedom. So, dear one, BE FREE!